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Hey Doc,

I really like your articles and I feel that I naturally act like you tell men to act most of the time. I have a question about Belinda, who I’ve been seeing for a year and a half and would like to get a “second opinion” from you.

Belinda introduced me to her family and her close female friends. She says she loves and wants to be with me and have kids with me. We are in our early 30s and met randomly in a coffee shop. I was always and still am a Challenge, do not tolerate BS, and expect her to respect me. Of course I always treat her with respect.

Anyway, we met for lunch recently and I walked her back to her office. There was a guy outside with whom she proceeded to talk for about five minutes with her back turned to me. She forgot to even introduce me. The guy looked a bit rough, like he was drinking or taking drugs and was rather ugly. She said she would tell me later who he was. When I asked her who the “pretty boy” was, she talked very highly of him to the point of making me uncomfortable. She said he was a very famous artist who couldn’t find work so he was becoming a politician and that she knew him way back from art school. When I asked her why she didn’t introduce me, she said that she felt a bit insecure and had issues expressing emotions in public, and also that she did not want to introduce me to ALL of her friends and work colleagues as she wanted to keep her personal life private. And she said she felt that she already introduced me to the friends that were important.

Secondly, Belinda has her ex-boyfriend on Facebook but she says they do not talk or get together. I said I was not comfortable with the ex being a “friend” (who she told me cheated on her). She said it was over five years ago and he still sends her birthday and Christmas cards, but she does not meet him.

Third, I noticed that Belinda has around 50 male “friends” on Facebook. I noticed that she was arranging to meet one of them using a flirtatious tone. I asked her why she needed these guys when I was her friend and boyfriend. She said she wouldn’t meet them anymore and even though she initiated the meeting with the male friend she didn’t go.

But I didn’t buy all of her excuses so I told her that this all was bit too much and that we had different personalities and she’d be better off making one of these other guys her boyfriend and forgetting about me. She said that I never gave her a chance to get closer to me — i.e., move in together — and she reassured me that she would do anything for me and that she would even quit her job and help me with my business just so she can be with me if I gave her the chance to live together in the same house. Doc, can I believe her?

Bud – who wants to believe her

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Hi Bud,

The first problem you have is that you’re acting like a man only some of the time. You’re missing a lot because you don’t have my book. If you’re practicing 70% of “The System” but you’re not practicing the other 30%, you’re missing a significant portion of my techniques. If your girl has high interest in another guy who is practicing all of my principles, you’re going to get wiped out.

When Belinda talked to another guy for five minutes with her back turned to you, right then and there she was OUT. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “This girl has absolutely no social skills.” And like my cousin General Love says, “This a slap in the face and an insult to you, soldier.” She didn’t forget to introduce you, Bud. She knew what she was supposed to do. She’s in her 30s, right? She’s not young and she’s not naïve. So stop rationalizing her behavior, like most men. What you should have done was walked right up between her and this guy, shook his hand and said, “Hi, how are you doing? I’m Belinda’s boyfriend.” If you’d had 100% of my principles down, you would have known to do that. So don’t tell me that you don’t tolerate BS – because you do. Actually, you don’t even know what BS is, my friend!

Belinda didn’t even get the fact that you were slamming the artist-turned-politician when you asked about him — that’s how stupid she is. And let me ask you this: if this ugly guy is so famous as an artist, how come he’s not selling anything? To you Psych majors, the famous artists are the ones who sell their work.

Now let me get this straight. You are supposedly the love of Belinda’s life, and she wants to keep her personal life private? Dude, what she’s trying to sell you here is the hands-down winner of the WOMANESE OF THE YEAR award!

When Belinda asked to be your boyfriend, you should have told her to take her ex off Facebook right then and there. You don’t know how to negotiate with this girl at all, dude. And that’s because you don’t have all of my teachings down.

But it turns out that Belinda has 50 other male friends on Facebook. She has no concept of what LOYALTY is, Bud. NONE. And that’s why she has to be OUT. But you don’t see any of this because you don’t have my book.

I’ve got bad news for you, pal. You and Belinda don’t have different personalities, you have DIFFERENT INTEREST LEVELS. Her Interest Level is 55% and yours is 89%. That’s the real problem here. You’re in love with her, and she’s interested in 50 different guys on Facebook!

Nevertheless, she claims that you never gave her a chance to get close to her. Hey buddy, when women are in the wrong, it’s your fault – remember that!

No, you can’t believe anything Belinda tells you. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Even if she did move in with you, it would be like living in Hell.” This babe has no idea what HONESTY, LOYALTY and TRUST are. She gets an “F” in all of them!

Remember, guys: if she flirts with other guys, you’re not her real boyfriend.



Kid ‘n Play is a hip hop duo that had great success from the mid-80’s to mid-90’s and one of their popular songs from 1991 has a great SYSTEM tie-in.

If you listen to the lyrics of “Ain’t Gonna Hurt Nobody” you hear a great message in there – basically have fun and try to live in the moment.

They’re putting the work week behind them and are going to have a great time – there is nothing uptight about this song at all.

You should never be uptight in your pursuit of Ms. Right – THE SYSTEM is not a guidebook that shows you how to teach lessons to the non-interested or bad women you’ll encounter – because in the game of dating you will run into both kinds.

You see – now you’re more aware and you can see what bad or non-interested women do – you can recognize them and not waste your time but the temptation is to say “ah ha – I know what you’re up to! You can’t get me!”

Waste of time guy.

Your job is to go out and have some fun and don’t take any of this too seriously – because every moment spent on a negative – IE, trying to tell a woman you have zero future with that you know what she’s up to is a moment you’ll never get back – and that moment can be used to find a fun, nice, FLEXIBLE GIVER with HIGH INTEREST LEVEL in YOU.

When you listen to Kid ‘n Play’s “Ain’t Gonna Hurt Nobody” can you really imagine them standing at the bar lecturing the girl that just turned them down for a dance or do you think they might be immediately onto the next girl?

That’s you guy – just think NEXT in your mind and you’ll be much further ahead – it’s all a game that’s supposed to be fun.

By the way – if you really listen to the song, they’re talking about one night stands along with the attitude of having fun – so you might want to refer to my article on sex from MASTERY IV for my thoughts on that – one night stands have their own set of pitfalls.

If you don’t have MASTERY IV just ask Jeff for a copy of the sex article – he’ll send it free if you email (but you might want to get MASTERY IV because of the special MASTERY SERIES SALE we have going on for Doc Love Club Members in March 2015).

Remember guys, don’t take any of this too serious

Until next week, thanks for your support.

Jeff and I appreciate it.

WEDNESDAY, 3/11:   THE SYSTEM tells you why sending even two emails without a response in online dating is a waste of time!

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